I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room. I have in the past made important decisions about people I work with, agents and producers, big decisions based largely on how they treat the wait staff in the restaurants we’re having the meeting in. Send thank you cards and standing ovations. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. But try to also express your passion for things you love. As a comedian, I make my living out of it. We have a tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff. I found myself doing this thing a bit recently where if someone asks me what sort of music I like, I say, “Well, I don’t listen to the radio because pop song lyrics annoy me.” Or if someone asks me what food I like, I say, “I think truffle oil is overused and slightly obnoxious.” I see it all the time online, people whose idea of being part of a subculture is to hate Coldplay or football or feminists or the Liberal Party.
Rejoice in what you learn and spray it.Seven. Even if you’re not a teacher, be a teacher.
You don’t have to do it forever, but if you’re in doubt about what to do, be an amazing teacher. Teachers are the most admirable and important people in the world. We tend to generate false dichotomies and then try to argue one point using two entirely different sets of assumptions, like two tennis players trying to win a match by hitting beautifully executed shots from either end of separate tennis courts. Most of society’s arguments are kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privileges. Take them out onto the veranda and hit them with a cricket bat.īe intellectually rigorous. We must think critically and not just about the ideas of others. There is great wisdom in this, but I would add that opinions differ significantly from assholes in that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined. A famous bon mot asserts that opinions are like assholes, in that everyone has one. This long, luxurious life ahead of you is going to make you depressed.įive. Most of you mob are going to live to nearly 100, and even the poorest of you will achieve a level of wealth that most humans throughout history could not have dreamed of. Play a sport, do yoga, pump iron, run, whatever, but take care of your body. You can’t be Kant, and you don’t want to be. You think, therefore you are, but also you jog, therefore you sleep, therefore you’re not overwhelmed by existential angst. I’m sorry, you pasty, pale, smoking philosophy grads, arching your eyebrows into a Cartesian curve as you watch the human movement mob winding their way through the miniature traffic cones of their existence. Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on intellectually.įour. Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes, nor truly blame others for their failures, will humble you and make you more compassionate. Contented homo erectus got eaten before passing on their genes. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy and you might find you get some as a side effect. If you think about it too much, it goes away. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out of the corner of your eye. Just be aware the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery, which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you. I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. If it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter.
After all, it’s something to do with your time, chasing a dream. Fine, if you have something you’ve always wanted to do, dreamed of in your heart, go for it. Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. I will now, at the ripe old age of 37.9, bestow upon you nine life lessons. However, I have had large groups of people listening to what I say for quite a few years now, and it’s given me an inflated sense of self-importance. I’m certainly not here to give career advice, ’cause, well, I’ve never really had what most would consider a job. I’ve never lost a limb on a mountainside, metaphorically or otherwise.
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